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How to Date When You’re Over 50 And Male – What You Need To Know
Hey guys in this video we’re going to talk about how dating is different when you’re in your 50s 60s and above and some of the practical things you need to consider when you’re getting back into the dating world. So if you’re new to my channel, my name is Anna Jorgenson, I’m a dating coach for men in Vancouver Canada.
So, for most guys who are getting into the dating world when they’re in their 50s and above, it’s usually because they’ve been off the market for a while, so you’ve probably been in a marriage for a length of time and either you’re coming out of it from Divorce or you may have lost your sweetheart.
Sorry, if that’s happened to you, the reality is that dating now is a bit different than it probably was when you first met your wife or significant other, and some of its good, and some of it may be less good. The good news is for guys in their 50s, and above is that if you have acquired any kind of financial stability, that’s not something that you have to worry about and dating.
When you’re older has some considerations that you’re, probably facing that, are challenging your confidence with women, like you know the reality of facing either retirement or possibly losing your job or not, liking your job or health issues or die, or physical changes like losing your hair Or having a beer gut.
So that brings me to the next point if you’re dating and you’re in your 50s or above, are you looking for someone much younger or someone closer to your age, because there are different considerations, depending on which you really prefer to be with.
There are ways: yes, you can get women who are still quite a bit younger than you, 20s and 30s. Even usually the younger you go the more shallow she will be looking for. So if you are over 50, the moreover 50, you are the more shallow qualities she’s going to be looking for, like super-fit body for your age and money.
Yes, absolutely money, power status, wealth. Those things are gonna play a factor more so than simply intelligence or a sense of humor things like that, although that’s important too as well.
There are advantages to dating younger women and that they’re, fun and playful, but the potential disadvantages are that you might not be on the same level with them. They’re gonna have a different life experience, but even more so the more important part, I think, is that you don’t know.
If they’re going to want children down the road, they might say they don’t want children, but women change their minds, especially if they’re in their 20s or 30s and haven’t really decided.
Yet, even if they say they don’t want children, they potentially will change their mind when maternal instinct hits them, and that means that you’re either going to have to father a child later on in life, or she may decide to leave you for somebody else. Who will now dating women who are in their late 30s, 40s, and 50s have different pros and cons.
The pros are that she may have some established financial security and that she might have a similar life experience. That makes things a little bit maybe easier to relate, but the negatives are that she’s probably also got health issues potentially or children, or definitely emotional baggage because the older we get the more baggage we seem to hang on to.
If we don’t deal with it, which means you’ve probably got baggage, you haven’t dealt with as well, which brings me to my next point baggage.
So as we age, we tend to get more ingrained and set in our ways, and it’s less likely that we’re going to want to compromise when you’re with someone who’s really young, then they might be more willing to compromise if they’re willing to accept the traits that You have, but if you’re with someone who’s older, then you’re going to have to filter better because there’s less likely a chance that that person is going to change who they are to be with you.
So that means that you will basically have to decide which flaws that you have, that you’re not going to change, and also what flaws the woman that you’re, potentially interested in, will have that.
You know you’re not going to be able to change in her and that you can accept now. One additional thing I wanted to mention about if you are a widower, is that you can find someone else that is a widow she’s, going to be a lot more understanding of your relationship with your wife and if you’ve had a good relationship, then you’ve probably already Got the qualities that will sustain you in another new relationship, even though two people are going to be different in the next relationship. If it was a divorce, then you’re gonna have to look at potentially changing some things, because most divorces are not one-sided oftentimes.
When a woman leaves it’s because you might have dropped the ball in some areas and you can determine if you want to change those things or if you just want to find someone who will accept you, as is where is one of the good points about dating A woman who’s closer to your age is that she’s, more direct and less likely looking for the typical bad way in terms of the criminal type of bad-boy, she’s, gotten past that and yes, she’s more looking for someone who’s, not the betta but more betta.
So she still wants a guy who’s, a leader and who has leadership, skills, and alpha qualities like certainty, Drive, initiative, and decision-making capabilities, but she doesn’t need someone who’s gonna treat her really poorly like it seems like younger women want because they get confused between.
What’s good alpha quality and masculine qualities, and what just appears to be masculine from guys who are jerks and treat them poorly? So definitely older women are going to be more amenable to the type of guy. You probably are especially if you’ve already been in a long-term relationship because you’re not going to be super alpha, most likely most guys, who’ve been in long-term relationships, have lost some of that masculine energy and strength.
Now, keep in mind that you don’t have to get married again and in today’s day and age, marriage is not fair to men, so if you can possibly avoid it, if you can’t avoid it because of your belief, system, religious or your value system, then Try to get a prenuptial agreement if it’s actually going to be held up in court where you live and if that’s not possible, then at the very least try to be with someone who is on the same level as you or similar or close to you financially.
This is also important because you may have children, she may have children, and when you have come out of a long-term relationship or even no other relationship, but you both have assets.
Then you’re going to need to discuss upfront well close to upfront what you see as happening to those assets when you pass on. Is she gonna get some or the? Is it all going to your children and she may have children? She may want to leave her stuff to her kids, so these are things that are not insurmountable, but you need to actually discuss them to make sure that you’re on the same page and don’t have expectations that are not in alignment.
What does she actually bring to the table because, as men age, they have the potential to increase their value simply by increasing their wealth?
A woman can get older and richer, but that will not increase her sexual market value, unfortunately, for women. Sorry, ladies, but that’s just the fact, you’ve got to maintain your femininity, your health, your fitness levels, your very good attitude is super important, and a sense of humor.
Those are the things that women need to have as they age if they want to have any value in the marketplace. Sorry, but that’s just the reality now. That brings me to the next point, which is what do you have to offer?
If you have power money, status, wealth, good, lucks, or intelligence and you’re older well, then you can get whoever you want to get still. You can still do that. That’S the benefit of being a man, but if you don’t have those qualities, then, realistically what are you bringing to the table to offer somebody?
And maybe there are some areas in there that you need to consider working on to better yourself. It’S never too late to better yourself.
It’S never too late to improve, and the reality is that you are gonna feel better about it, regardless, even if the person you’re interested in isn’t interested in those particular qualities, so do it for you never change for someone else, always improve yourself for yourself.
Another thing to consider is that, as men get older, women expect them to be more direct and bold because they’ve had more time to accumulate self-assurance from life experience. So you can be more bold and direct with all ages of women, whether they’re young or older, and they will actually expect it and appreciate it, and one thing about Walter women is, they will also often be more direct, so do expect that women, who were a bit older to be more interrogative, but basically directly inquisitive, because they want to find out what the deal-breakers in dealmakers are.
So they can make a decision to move on. Just like you want to be able to make a decision and move on, and women are still influenced a little bit by looks, but not as much as they get older.
So, of course, the closer they are to their childbearing years. The more influence they’re going to be to the health factors of a man who is suitable for reproducing so as you get older, that’s less important, but health is still important, especially if you’re dating someone younger, because if she is genuinely interested in you, then she’s gon Na want you to stick around for a while like she’s gonna want you to live now.
What are some practical tips for guys over 50? Well, one is your style. If you haven’t updated your style in over 20 years, then that’s the first thing you’re going to need to do.
You need to go to the great barber and get a new haircut or style. That’s gonna suit your face. You need to go to a men’s clothing store and get advice from a guy there, who is not more than 20 years younger than you. You don’t want to go too young because then they’re going to put you in clothes that are not appropriate for your age and you’re.
Just gonna look goofy so definitely work on your wardrobe and if you can hire that person to come in and go through your closet and just give you a bit of an update and you don’t have to spend a lot of money to update your style Along those lines is grooming. Of course, you want to groom yourself. I noticed that a lot of guys are older either because they’ve been married for a long time and have not really considered that it’s important to women. They forget to do some basic grooming like nose, hairs inside/outside, pluck those suckers ear hairs if you have to go somewhere to get it done professionally, then do that as well and, of course, make sure your teeth are clean. You’Ve got no plaque.
You’ve gone to the dentist, and you probably are gonna – have stained teeth. You’Re gonna need to whiten them up a little bit, but don’t go fluorescent because that looks just unnatural and awkward and another thing that you’ll want to do is one spritz of Cologne right on the chest area.
Don’T put on more than that, your sniffer as you age isn’t as sensitive as it used to be wear as women’s sniffers. If especially, if you’re going for someone who’s younger or even substantially younger she’s, going to be able to smell a lot better than you can, and if you wear too much cologne, it’s really overpowering and it can be a real turnoff. It’S like what kind of Bo is he trying to hide so don’t overdo it.
One spritz on the chest is enough. You have to remember that it’s still a numbers game. There are going to be more women who are older or closer to your age.
Who will most likely be interested in you or potentially interested in you, but you’re still gonna want to filter through them, because you’re still better to be single than to be sorry by choosing poorly and if you’re going for someone who’s younger, then not every woman Who’S younger is gonna want to be with an older man, and the numbers are just gonna, be stacked a little bit against you and again.
Unless you’ve got a lot of money, then you’re always gonna be able to find the Goldi hoes.
Who will go for you for just the money but remember the more shallow qualities that she’s going for the more likely it that it’s not going to last forever and she will eventually leave you? So, that’s just something that you need to consider when you’re thinking about going for someone, anyone who is going after your potentially shallow qualities like really good, looks or really fit, or lots of money or power or status or fame things like that. And so where can you meet women?
Well, I’ll put a couple of videos up here, because it’s basically a lot of the same places that you would meet women, no matter what age you are, and the one thing I will note about dating sites is that it’s really really a big numbers game. But if you’re interested in looking for women who are closer to your age, then there are dating sites that are specifically for people who are over 50, and typically, the more information you have to put in and/or.
If you have to pay for the site or app. There’s going to be a higher likelihood of getting more serious matches, the ones that are apps like tinder, don’t go for those ones if you’re over 50, because really tinder is based a lot on looks you don’t have to put very much information in there. So it’s really a swipe left-right, based on looks or if you’re standing in front of a Ferrari. Then you might get a few hits on that. But there are better ways to meet women that you will genuinely get along with when you’re over 50.
So I hope that this has been helpful and thanks for being here.